to name, to breathe, to feel, to live

for violin, electronics, and body

Premiere

Premiere of first version on April 5th, 2025 at Zürcher Gallery in New York, NY

Evening-length version to be premiered in April 2026, TBA

Duration

17 minutes

Program Note

To name, to breathe, to feel, to live emerges from my ongoing exploration of the violin’s connection to humanness—particularly voice, identity, restraint, and vulnerability. In conceiving this work, I reflected on my evolving identity as a queer person over time. This led me to consider the somatic experiences tied to certain events, actions, emotions, and I became fascinated with the internal and external conflicts they provoke.

Much of the musical material emerged from describing sensations through color, texture, and physical states—words like “rumbling,” “choked,” “tightness in the throat,” or the feeling of "flying and floating.” I was interested in how these sensations could exist together.

I also see parallels between my violin practice and my queer experience. Classical training instilled rigid ideas about how one "should" play the violin, often disregarding the body and personal autonomy. In this work, I asked myself: What feels good to play? What feels cathartic? What makes me feel powerful? I sought to honor and expose the physicality of playing, allowing my body to guide the process. The improvisatory nature of this work helps me tune into that more intentionally. Additionally, using my voice—something I’ve long been reluctant to incorporate—became an integral part of getting close to myself. 

Through exposure and vulnerability, this piece becomes an act of healing and empowerment for me. 

Percussive fragments  

Murmurs and singing blessings 

Breathe in

Breathe out 

Rumbling, trembling 

Punching streaks in magenta 

Breathe in

Breathe out

I daydream and stare 

Soaring, trailing, all nothing

Euphoria…

fleets  

It is when I sit in, notice, and name -

the gut burns, electrifies, and intensifies

i am infinite

i am powerful

i am free